Thursday, April 28, 2011

Stress Ball

I wonder what it feels like, to have the world unleashed upon you as your singular purpose. Would the selflessness of it all grant the reward of self-righteous gratification? Or would you simply be crushed by the gravity of the agonizing infinitude.

It's endless, isn't it? How do you carry on? Relief could only possibly be met by the promise of a reimbursement. It's coming back. It is.

It's unstoppably, inexorably and overwhelmingly returning - with a undying fury, squelched only by the periodicity of the momentary relief - the same ephemeral relief.

You'll be squeezed.

You'll pop.

Alas! Your relief is death, so I can't pity you.

After all, who can pity themselves?

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Marion

I had a conversation with Marion.
She was mean.

But I told her she was better than that.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Tenants of Variance

Dean,

You asked the question that all Tenants rely upon regarding the Anchor.

What does it mean to be you? Don't attempt to answer that question. It's posed like an unsolvable math problem on a university whiteboard. The professor has no interest in you solving the equation, only in helping you understand why the question is asked.

Why do we assume there is a definition of individualism if diversity, in and of itself, lends its hand to the impossibility of mutual understanding. There can be no collective congruence on the definition of "you", and therefore renders the question itself unsolvable. If what makes you an individual is the contrast between minds, then knowing what we are is subjective to the nature of the arbitrary thought.

What you know may imitate similarity to my own understanding, but we cannot know if sharing a congruence is true, due to subjectivity.

I've leapt into the minds of many, all men, but sex is irrelevant, as I've learned from other Tenants of Variance. Does who I was define who I am, despite who I've developed through, or does the definition of "you" remain unchanged regardless of advancement?

Are we born into ourselves forever as ourselves, and is development extraneous to the eventuality of corporate opinion?

I retain the original emotions and ability from my Anchor(long since decomposed), but residence within the mind of another allots the transcending of personal shortcomings and individualistic doubts. Finding similarity in the fears of greater men subsequently produces a curiously peaceful nature, despite understanding the lack of true epiphanous discovery.

Of course we were scared. We were dying. Even after escaping death, the phantoms of our Anchors weigh us down in the inevitability of an end.

I'll reach for the next millennium, in hopes of grasping a better understanding of the reason behind the question. I apologize for being unable to answer it.

As always, Dean, sleep in haste and without relief.

-Douglas (77th Tenant)

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Excitement vs. Impartation

It's better to whisper the truth than shout empty words for the sake of excitement. If you truly want to rile a crowd, do it with passion and conviction, so the ears on which your words fall can be imparted with truth, as apposed to falling dead before them in a fiery thud. Both ways can receive the same excitement from the crowd, but only one will have imparted the message of God the way He intended it. You are not speaking to create excitement, or even deliver a good message. You are being used by God to impart His sovereign word on those who respect you as a conduit for truth. Instead of attempting to use your own willpower and charisma to light a fresh fire under the withering flames, simply care about every word on your tongue as God works through you, and the passion you emit will inexorably expose them to an unstoppable chain reaction.

Iron sharpens iron, as it is said, and people cannot deny the power of a man's conviction in what is good and what is right.

Friday, January 15, 2010

You're quite special.

You pretend not to break under trivial misconceptions, and then you pose a singularly answerable question, unconsciously gathering a desire to hear my retort to the mindlessness. Casually, I disarm the enemy with things you should already know, but surprisingly ignore until I validate them. Your blindness isn't disappointing or foolish, but an enlightening example of my own self-deconstruction.

In my own pretenses of manhood, I continue to allow you to ask the questions I'm lucidly aware of and attempt to answer them for both our sakes. Your approval of my answer will always warrant new confidences.

Still, they are silly questions, stupid questions, but don't stop asking me.

I like telling you that you're quite special.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

My third Omegle conversation after being disconnected twice because I am a boy:


You:
Hello.

Stranger: hola..

You: If you disconnect me because I have a Y chromosome...I will be upset.

Stranger: habla e3spanol?

You: Haha.

You have disconnected.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Goodbye.

That's an impassable hill.
I've failed to climb it on several occasions.
It's rejected me three times, to be exact.
I have no idea what's on the other side.
Or what my motivation is.
Why do I keep trying, I wonder.
Impassable isn't an exaggeration.
I should know that by now.
The hill doesn't care what I accomplish.
It's just interested in being a hill.

So, I've decided to give up.
I put down my tools and protections.
The hill can be a hill.
There is no reason to pursue it.
More climbers will come.
Ones more suited to climbing the hill.
I can't watch them climb it any longer.
I see in them, my own shortcomings.
And then, I wonder.
What is it I lack to climb you...

Goodbye