I'm sorry for stalking you, but you were always there when I was feeling down.
Where the frick have you been? Seriously. Quit being a massive douche and come home. I miss you more than Joy.
I don't quite know how to say this...but, I think it's time for you to move out.
You should come out with us sometime. You were the most fun to hang out with.
What are you, five? Grow up and read a book, you moron.
Even though I like you, you're not an artist dude. Sorry.
You're an idiot.
Dear Unquenchable Gluttony,
I think I'm in love with you. Don't tell Melancholy...